13 September 2013

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How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

Our modern culture is one obsessed by the prospect of reanimated flesh stalking the earth. Over the last decade, there has been a huge resurgence in films, tv shows, books and comics about zombies, and one that shows no signs of slowing anytime soon. Perhaps one of the main reasons this genre retains such fascination among audiences is because we like to imagine how we would cope if it were somehow ever to happen, as unlikely as that may be. Would we have what it takes to survive the hours, days and weeks of zombie infestation, before it can be stopped, assuming it can be? Or would we fall to pieces like so many bit-part characters unaware of their own limitations? I’m fairly confident I could make the distance, personally. Here is my own carefully-crafted plan for survival: [...]


Our modern culture is one obsessed by the prospect of reanimated flesh stalking the earth. Over the last decade, there has been a huge resurgence in films, tv shows, books and comics about zombies, and one that shows no signs of slowing anytime soon.

Perhaps one of the main reasons this genre retains such fascination among audiences is because we like to imagine how we would cope if it were somehow ever to happen, as unlikely as that may be. Would we have what it takes to survive the hours, days and weeks of zombie infestation, before it can be stopped, assuming it can be? Or would we fall to pieces like so many bit-part characters unaware of their own limitations?

I’m fairly confident I could make the distance, personally. Here is my own carefully-crafted plan for survival:


Get fit
If you’re not in good shape already, now’s the time to invest in a pair of running shoes. To stay ahead of the undead, you’re going to need to be pretty fast on your feet. Of course speed, agility and stamina aren’t everything, and certainly don’t guarantee survival, but you’ll stand a better chance if you can outrun everyone else.

Sustenance
In the same vein, get hold of as many energy foods, drinks and supplements as you can. Until you’re clear of the hordes you’re going to need to be alert at all times, and ready to burst for freedom at a moment’s notice.

Clothing
Generally, zombie infestations are spread by being bitten. So you need protective clothing, but you also need to be able to move around easily. I would suggest motorcycle leathers are the best option, plus you’ll look pretty good too. While grabbing your clothing, see if you can get a bike too - it will make negotiating jams on the motorway as you flee the city a piece of cake.

Weapons
Difficult to make it without suitably arming yourself. But bear in mind everyone else will have the same idea. Don’t head for the nearest gun shop or police station, these places will be ransacked within minutes. Instead make for a sporting goods or hardware store, or a garden centre. Plenty of useful kit there. Fill up your backpack or vehicle with as much as you can find, as well as tools and medical equipment.

Company
Team up with other people if you can. There’s safety in numbers, and it will also be of comfort in difficult times. But keep your distance emotionally - not everyone is cut out for survival, plus if things turn sour you may need to break away from the group quickly.

Lose your inhibitions
Supermarket shelves will be emptied fast, and neighbourbood homes straight after that. Fairly soon you’ll be reduced to eating and drinking whatever you can find, be it roadkill or toilet water. Best prepare yourself for that.

Be in Las Vegas
No silly, the casinos will be deserted. Make for the zombie apocalypse store that sells everything you could possibly need in the eventuality of an outbreak. See for yourself on a tour with grandamericanadventures.com.

Escape
Get out of town. Look for a piece of high ground which offers good views and an easily-defensible position. A good idea also to have an escape route in case you get overrun.

Long-term survival
You want fertile land where you can grow food, and a well for clean water. Survival over a period of years should be your main aim.

Ideal solution
Somehow get hold of a helicopter, and fly to a deserted island. You’re going to be pretty lonely for the foreseeable future so be sure and bring some reading material - maybe avoid the zombie genre though.


About Today's Contributor:
Part man/part zombie, Rob is struggling to notice the difference some days when he wakes up and looks in the mirror.


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