Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's EndThis flailing ilk of cinematic dredge was produced for $300 million dollars. The third film in a series that should have never gone past sequel mode. There are rumors of a fourth movie in the works. The plot revolves around a plan to end piracy, which is just as doable as George Bushes' campaign to end terror. Who knew America loved pirates so much when they are so afraid of the real thing, as cinematically evidenced here? Sure, pirates are all fun and nice, when they are overpaid white actors.
TangledNow, I’ve never seen Tangled, but a computer animated film that costs this much to only make the Rapunzel story seems hip, cool, and probably plays this song all throughout it, shouldn’t have costed 260 million dollars to make. This is highly due to the supposed animating style that makes images appear more photorealistic, like a painting. That’s about as believable visually as aurally ingesting the idea that the film is meant to appeal to a wider audience than just little girls. Disney did change the name to appeal to a wider audience, but that only hides the movie's lead role as a female just a little more. So what is it gonna be, Disney? Do you want to make money or be a huge multi-national sexist corporation?
BattleshipI bet singer/Eminem enhancer, Rihanna, was really excited when she got to make a movie about her favorite board game that costs more than a small country. When I was playing Battleship last, my girlfriend was dropping bombs on my aircraft carrier and I was completely lost as to how she could keep not missing. The film plays off of this feeling of unabated, otherworldly destruction by introducing aliens to the concept of ten ships at sea shooting missiles at each other. Yeah, this game is frustrating when your girlfriend is a battleship rain man, but I never once though she was controlled by aliens. Still, $210 million dollars was used to put this “board game to action film” together, and that seems way too high. Now, fans eagerly await a live action Monopoly movie.
If Hollywood can make bad movies with a big budget, shouldn’t it work the other way too? I think the everyman is the next filmmaker. The technology is there and it’s only getting cheaper to purchase. If you think you have the chops, it’s high time to either get out of debt to make your film dreams come true, or fall farther into debt to fund what you can. Either way you should do the research first. I proclaim that, in the future, more media will be saturating the market and, in the memetic field of ideas, the playing field will be leveled and those who have great ideas will be heralded by critics rather than fed to the masses.
About Today's Contributor
Frank Mccourt wants to help you make a blockbuster on your own, so long as you put him in your movie... and give him his own trailer.