4 March 2013

Why London Or A Similar City Would Make The Perfect Bond Villain's Lair

Any self-respecting evil genius needs a suitably imposing lair. What would Blofeld have been without his hollowed-out volcano, Scaramanga without his Pacific island or Stromberg without his underwater palace? It’s a little-known fact that a Bond villain with a sub-par lair runs a very real risk of humiliation at the annual Union of Super villains Christmas get-together.

The trouble is that most lairs are somewhat inaccessible. A remote Himalayan fortress might give you the privacy needed to conduct nefarious schemes, but popping to the shops for milk can often be a nightmare. Modern Super villains need a place that combines the convenience of 21st century urban living with the traditional requirements of a sinister hideout and London could just be the ideal choice.

It’s a Good Investment
It’s no secret that London property prices are high, of course. With even one bedroom flats going for £400,000 plus in many parts of the capital, buying a full-size lair inside the M25 would definitely entail a sizeable outlay of cash.

However, it’s something of a prerequisite for Bond villains to be super-rich - they wouldn’t be able to employ vast armies of disposable henchmen otherwise - so this is unlikely to be a major issue. Also, property prices in London look set to rise steadily for years to come, even as the market in the rest of the country waxes and wanes. Buying a lair in London gives budding Super villains peace of mind that their new base isn’t going to haemorrhage value, letting them concentrate on important matters like attaching laser beams to the heads of sharks.

The Infrastructure Would Be Easy to Set Up
An effective lair is far more than a sinister status symbol. For a base to be truly capable, it needs to act as a hub of operations, allowing Super villains and their staff to monitor the progress of their schemes without needing to venture into the wider world.

While some of the expenditures necessary to create a first-class lair are obvious - after all, those laser-sharks will definitely need a tank of some description - some may be less so. For example, those henchmen will all need phones and computers if they're going to be truly productive, necessitating the installation of phone systems and network cabling. London sits at the forefront of the world’s technology industry however, so finding the right contractor to do the job is unlikely to be a problem.

Excellent Public Transport Links Make for a Cost Effective Escape Plan
A fool proof escape route is an essential part of any lair. James Bond always wins at the end of the day of course, so having the means to make a quick escape as your nefarious plot comes grinding to a halt is a must.

Many Super villains succumb to the temptation of implementing a flashy means of escape, with hidden rockets and submarines acting as favoured getaway methods in many cases. However, thanks to the capital’s world-class public transport links, there’s no need to spend a fortune on a fancy spaceship for city-based Super villains. Heathrow airport is a mere taxi, Tube or bus ride away and offers flights to hundreds of destinations every day, letting you escape from Bond’s clutches and skip the country without breaking the bank. 

About Today's Guest Writer:

Jann Webb is a writer who has a keen interest in the property market. She suggests that even if you are not a Super villain and you just want a property which offers great connectivity thorough network cabling, London could offer you the perfect place to create your very own lair for a great price.

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