Signs You Need Healthier Personal Boundaries

Signs You Need Healthier Personal Boundaries (Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels)

You have boundaries, but they don’t seem to be working. You still feel like people are taking unfair advantage of you. Your self-esteem is taking constant hits, and the criticism is unending. What gives?

Chances are you need to take a hard look at your boundaries. Perhaps the ones that used to work, don’t anymore because you aren’t the same person. Or it’s time for a tune-up so that you can not only strengthen the boundaries you have but make them healthier at the same time.

What are (some of) the warning signs that your boundaries need work?

• When someone bullies you, and you stay silent.

• You agree to things you don’t agree with (such as political opinions) to avoid ‘rocking the boat.’

• You suffer from guilt anytime you do something for yourself. 

• You feel invisible.

• You constantly say ‘yes’ even when you want to say ‘no’ when people ask you to do things.

• You’re the one who does all the giving in your relationships.

• You give your time to people who don’t deserve it. 

• When someone is in your personal space, you don’t say anything, despite how uncomfortable you feel. 

• You don’t speak up when the joke isn’t funny - and it’s at your expense. 

• People bully you, but you do nothing about it. 

• You’re always playing the victim. 
  
  
• People take you for granted. 

• You worry all the time about what people think of you. 

• When someone tells you to ‘do something for yourself’ you have no idea what to do. 

• You over-share when talking to others about yourself. 

• You take on other people’s guilt as though that will absolve them somehow. 

• You’re in a career that was chosen for you, rather than in one that you want to do (such as working in a family business you had no desire to be part of). 

• You don’t speak up when someone touches you physically even though you don’t want to be touched. 

• You wind up in relationships with controlling individuals. 

• You see yourself as the ‘sacrifice.’ 

• You feel like people won’t like you if you don’t do things for them. 

• You use actions as currency with people by doing things in hopes that they will someday do something for you in return (that day never comes, does it?) 

• You tend to manipulate people to get your needs met 

• Reading this list is making you uncomfortable because you’ve already recognized more than one thing on it that sounds like you.
  

It is a daunting list.

The good news is, there is room for you to change. Remember, boundaries are always a good idea. Making sure that the boundaries are healthy is crucial to your development into the individual you’ve always been meant to become. 

Signs You Need Healthier Personal Boundaries (Photo by Naveen Annam from Pexels)

• By checking your boundaries periodically, you will likely see places that need work. But you’ll also see where you can do things to keep them strong and healthy enough to serve you going forward. 

It might seem like a lot of effort on your part, but in the end, don’t you think you’re worth it? With that in mind, it’s time to get down to work. You’ve got this!

Related Stories:

• How to Handle a Bully [Video Included] 
• How To Be Daring and Stand Up to Others
• The Anatomy of a Boss from Hell [Infographic]
• 5 Memorable Bullies From The Big Screen

How To Be Daring and Stand Up to Others

How To Be Daring and Stand Up to Others (Photo by Jill Wellington from Pexels)

Were you ever bullied as a child? If so, it could be something that you carry with you into your adult years. You may yield to those who bark louder, so to speak. But, there are times when you need to stand your ground. These are the times to be daring and stand up to others.

• You may feel like you are an easygoing person. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you are a person who would defer to others because you don’t want to make waves, this can be okay, in the right circumstances. But, if you do this all the time, you eventually will get trampled on with more important issues.

• You do need to pick your battles. If you become the stronger person in your group, you run the risk of becoming bully-like yourself. In fact, this is something that can happen when people stand up to others for the first time. They take on the strong-willed persona and become that person they used to fear. The key is to be strong when it’s important and let the little stuff go by.

• Also, let others have some wins. This shows strength and leadership. You will win people to your way of thinking as they won’t feel threatened by your presence. When you show your willingness to cede to them, you can develop a great working relationship going forward.

How To Be Daring and Stand Up to Others (Photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels)

• When you do take a stand, make sure that you do it respectfully. If you don’t, you risk losing respect from everyone around and not just the person you are going up against. Whenever possible, try to find an arrangement where both you and the other party wins. The person will see that they can’t take advantage of you, while at the same time, they don’t lose out in the interaction.

• Not everyone will take your newfound strength well. That’s okay. As long as you do everything you can to try and work with them, you will be the bigger person. He or she may have issues with you, but at least they know you aren’t willing to back down on the bigger issues. You also will find people need time and may come around after a while. Your relationship won’t be the same, but that could be for the best.

• Try to keep anger out of the picture because it makes people react in ways they later regret. It’s okay to be firm when dealing with others, but there’s no reason to elevate the situation to the point where you start getting personal.

How To Be Daring and Stand Up to Others (jmage via Pexels)

Related Stories:

• How to Handle a Bully [Video Included]
• The Anatomy of a Boss from Hell [Infographic]
• 5 Memorable Bullies From The Big Screen

How to Handle a Bully [Video Included]

How to Handle a Bully (Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels)

It’d be nice to think that once you’re out of school, you’d be done with bullies for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, that can be far from the truth, as anyone who’s ever had a bullying boss, co-worker or friend can attest.

We all know what bullying looks like as a kid: name calling, pushing, meanness, just to name a few. But how do you know that someone is an adult bully?

Often, in the name of security and keeping the peace, we may let bullying just roll off our back. But if someone you know is a bully, they may take subtle actions such as:

• Ignoring you - This is a form of disrespect, and aims to control you by keeping you guessing and never knowing. You make a request or ask a question, and don’t get a response.

• Being late, or not showing up at all - Again, this is another form of disrespect, but it can sometimes have more serious consequences, such as missing an important appointment or being late for a meeting.

• Starting rumors - The bully that starts untrue rumors is seeking to sabotage you and your reputation. Seeing you react (or overreact) to hearing lies told about yourself is what they thrive on. 

• Passive-aggressive behavior - Backwards compliments, deliberate procrastination, having to have the last word... these are all examples of passive-aggressive behavior that a bully might exhibit.

These are only a few examples of how a bully might act as an adult to control a situation. How you handle each situation is the key to taking away the bully’s power.

How to Handle a Bully (Photo by Josh Hild from Pexels)

First and foremost, if you find yourself being bullied a lot as an adult, take a close look at whether you’re playing the victim. Due to your upbringing, you may not even realize that you’re doing it, but often, a bully will instinctively aim for the person who already has a victim mentality. If that’s you, you’ll need to learn to stand up for yourself and become more assertive in the face of the bully.

If all else fails, simply separate yourself from the bully. This may be more difficult to accomplish in a work situation, but be creative, and try to create space between you and the bully. The less you are around them, the less harm they can do.

Also, try to remember that most bullies end up that way because of low self-esteem and a fragile sense of self-worth. By asserting yourself, you take away the bullies power, and maybe... just maybe... you’ll show them that they don’t have to be that way.

The Video:

Related Stories:

• How To Be Daring and Stand Up to Others
• The Anatomy of a Boss from Hell [Infographic]
• 5 Memorable Bullies From The Big Screen

3 Celeb Workout Plans Which Will Motivate You Today

Man and woman holding battle ropes (image via Pexels.com)

If you have found your workout routine has relaxed dramatically over the quarantine period, you aren’t alone. Since March, people around the world have been quarantined in their homes, watching Netflix, baking banana bread and trying to come to terms with the COVID-19 pandemic. Unsurprisingly, then, we have all gotten a little less fit, and a little more fat. People on Instagram have been hashtagging the #Quarantine15, referring to the 15 pounds it has become customary to gain while in quarantine.

It’s totally normal that our bodies have changed as our lives have so dramatically. But if you’re ready to get back to kicking your own ass in the gym, here are three celeb workouts which will motivate you to put down the chips, switch off the TV, and get that butt back into some workout gear.

1- Lebron James’ Home Workout

Lebron’s basketball workout has been a popular one for LA Lakers fans to research and emulate. After all, Lebron is one of the most celebrated athletes of all time for a good reason. The guy embodies dedication, excellence and relentless hard work in all he does. Lebron broadcasted on Instagram over lockdown, showing off his workout routine despite being unable to play basketball as normal. Lebron’s home workout consisted of gym equipment because, well, he obviously has a home gym. But now the gyms are back open again, why not watch Lebron’s powerful workout and get motivated to reach his levels.

2 - Khloe Kardashian’s Weight Loss Workout

Khloe Kardashian has undergone one of the most dramatic celebrity transformations ever. Part of this transformation has been from using facial reconstruction surgery to change her look, but part of this has been her weight loss. Khloe reportedly lost 40 pounds in recent years and regularly shows off her svelte physique on Instagram. In addition, the third oldest Kardashian sister has released a clothing line, Good American, which now stocks workout gear. Khloe is serious about this fitness lifestyle.

Luckily, Khloe has also let us in on her workout secrets. Snippets of her workouts are regularly posted to Instagram, and her personal trainer also posted this helpful video with advice and tips on how Khloe got her body in shape.

3 - Beyoncé’s 44 Day Coachella Workout

Beyoncé headlined Coachella in 2019 after giving birth to twins just a few months prior. Her trainer, Marco Borges, designed a 22 day nutrition program which Bey followed for 44 days while rehearsing for her iconic Coachella performance which is now immortalized in the Netflix documentary, Homecoming.

For this diet and workout, Beyoncé worked out daily alongside full days of dance rehearsals and eating a purely plant based diet. No sugar, no caffeine, no meat, no dairy, no processed foods. This plan is now available to members of the program, so you too can sweat, eat and eventually look like the Queen B herself.

Do Not Disturb: How to Exercise Quietly at Home

Woman practicing yoga (image via Pexels)

If you live in an apartment, you know how thin the walls and ceilings can be. The past few months have been a test of true patience for apartment dwellers dealing with the sounds of their neighbors as everyone has been cooped up inside under Covid-19 quarantine restrictions. One particularly noisy activity is exercising, which is hard to do quietly under the best of circumstances. With many gyms closed during the pandemic, people have moved their workouts to their apartments, much to the chagrin of their neighbors.

Of course, there are some forms of exercises that are low-impact and do not involve jumping jacks and burpees that can be heard two floors down. There are also ways of making a space more soundproof and using equipment to soften the noise of exercising. Even slight modifications to your at-home workout routine can make a big difference to your elderly neighbors. Here are some tried and true tips to get you through until gyms fully reopen.

Use a noise reducing mat

You can still exercise wearing comfortable sneakers without making a lot of noise. Instead of jumping around directly on your hardwood floors, set an exercise mat down and use that to cushion your movements and absorb the sound of impact. The thicker the mat, the better it will be for absorbing sound. If you are doing yoga or a low-impact exercise routine, you can opt for a thinner mat. A PVC or rubber exercise mat also serves to ease the pressure put on your joints from exercising on a hard surface. 

Swap machinery for simple gear

Loud machinery, like a treadmill, can be heard by neighbors. For the time being, swap it for simpler equipment that won’t make a sound. For an intense core workout, try an ab wheel to deliver a challenging, yet quiet workout. Instead of weights, use resistance bands that are lightweight and don’t make noise when they hit the ground like weights. You can work every part of the body, from your legs to arms, chest, and shoulders with a resistance band.

Use coated weights

If you must use regular weights, try using ones that have a polyurethane or rubber coating rather than exposed metal as these will be quieter when you set them down. You can also buy silencer pads to lay on the floor to soften the sound of the weights.

Do bodyweight exercises

Instead of kickboxing or cardio dance classes in your living room, opt for bodyweight exercises that can give you a full workout without the noise. Bodyweight exercises include crunches, lunges, planks, wall sits, and push-ups, among other exercises. They make for a great full body workout because you use your core and the rest of your body to maintain balance in each position. Start small with a few reps for each exercise and add more each day.

Show that you are a considerate tenant by making slight alterations to your normal workout classes and all of your neighbors will thank you for it. In addition to low impact indoor exercise, there are also plenty of outdoor options like running, biking, and swimming that can be done while socially distancing. Grab your athletic women’s and men’s sneakers and head out into the great outdoors -- you’ll be back at the gym soon enough.

4 Steps to Controlling Your Anger Triggers

4 Steps to Controlling Your Anger Triggers

Everyone has their own little quirks. Things that make them irritated, frustrating, or downright angry. You could probably list your own triggers right now—little stuff like clutter or having to wait around. Maybe you can’t stand a particular word or phrase, or you find it impossible to work if there’s noise. The thing about triggers is that they’re often small things that tip you over the edge, and before you know it, you’ve lost your temper over something that in the scheme of things, doesn’t really matter.

Here are four steps you can take to manage your anger triggers better: 

Take control

The first thing is to realize that you are totally in control of how you react. Work out what your triggers are, and you can take your power back. You can anticipate and plan for situations where you know you’re likely to blow your top.

Learn to read your body

Be conscious of how your anger manifests in your body. Likely your heart rate will go up, or your hands and jaw will clench. You might feel breathless or even get a stomachache. Tune into what your body is telling you, and you’ll learn to be able to stop the process of reacting. And remember the feelings themselves aren’t ‘bad’ but how you choose to respond to those feelings can be harmful, even destructive.

Instead of sweeping the papers off your desk onto the floor, or yelling, take a deep breath or go for a walk. Feeling triggered is often a result of low blood sugar, fatigue, or dehydration. Taking care of your physical needs can help you manage your emotional needs as well and make you more resilient to stresses and triggers.

Identify what triggered you

Once you can interrupt the trigger response, you can start to work out what it was that set it off in the first place. Did you feel disrespected? Unheard? Were you mistreated or misunderstood? If someone pushed in front of you in the coffee line, what did that signal to you? That your needs aren’t important?

What about if someone talks over you or interrupts in a meeting? As well as being rude, you could feel sidelined, humiliated even.

Choose your plan of action

Whatever your triggers might be, it’s totally up to you how you react. You can anticipate how you might feel and what you might do or say in response. Take a deep breath, detach from the situation, and focus on how you want to feel. You can choose to stay calm in triggering situations – it’s up to you.

7 Ways to Turn Worry into Excitement about Getting Things Done

7 Ways to Turn Worry into Excitement about Getting Things Done

Everybody worries sometimes. Right now, you’ve probably even got a few worries on your mind. You might be thinking about a relationship or a situation at work, causing you trouble. Maybe you’re worried about your health or whether or not you’re going to have enough money to pay the bills at the end of the month. Whatever the case, worry happens whether we intend for it to or not. This becomes a problem, though, when worry starts to take over your life.

So, what is the goal? Is stopping worrying enough to put you on an even keel, or are you hoping for something…more? What if, instead of worrying, you could become excited, then use this excitement to get more done?

Let’s look at seven ways to achieve this:

Be Here Now

Worry has a way of trapping you anywhere but here. Either you’re worried about something which happened long ago, or you’re caught up in fretting about something still to come. Neither is going to get you anywhere. To stop worrying, you need to focus on the present. What interests you right now?

Realize This Gets You Nowhere Fast

Worrying stops you cold. In fact, most procrastination is caused by worrying. With this in mind, why are you wasting your time and energy on worrying? Sometimes just recognizing what a waste worry is, will be enough to derail it altogether. Especially when you have better places to be.

Throw Yourself into Something Interesting

Worry needs your attention to survive. Get busy doing something engaging to your mind, and you’ll find you forget all about worrying.

Rewrite the Script

If you’re seeing everything blow up around you, maybe you should try focusing on the perceived disaster. Ask yourself how you could do things to handle the situation were it to happen. Once you have it, practice the scenario in your mind. Picture yourself handling matters.

Practice

Worried about something you need to do later? Having a dress rehearsal in your head will make things go smoother and keep worry at bay entirely.

Ask

Challenge your worry. Dig in and get to the roots until you understand your worry intimately. Ask yourself where the negativity came from. Peel back the layers until you get down into the heart of the matter.

Try a New Path

In the end, worry can become very attached to the familiar. Challenge yourself. Find a different way to do things. Explore where this path takes you.

The main point in all of these is to enjoy the journey. This is where you find the excitement and enthusiasm, which leads to getting things done. The rest is all momentum and a whole lot of brand-new accomplishments just waiting to happen.

Four Video Games To Boost Your Mood

The video game Fortnite revels in silliness. (Epic Games/IGDB)

In her book How Games Move Us (2016), computer games researcher Katherine Isbister writes that her friends and colleagues believe that gaming might numb people’s emotions. Given the possible connection between games and violence, it may be understandable that they think this, but Isbister disagrees with them. She writes that “games can actually play a powerful role in creating empathy and other strong, positive emotional experiences”.

Designers want players to laugh, cry and extend empathy to the other characters and players within digital games. So whether you are looking for a welcome distraction or a mood boost, here are four games to try.

1. Kind Words

Ziba Scott’s Kind Words (Lo Fi Chill Beats to Write To) may seem like an odd game. All it involves is players writing and receiving encouraging letters in a cosy room that cocoons them in the relaxing sounds of of “lo fi chill beats”.

It takes its inspiration from the YouTube sensation lo fi hip hop radio - beats to relax/study to. A combination of chill electronic music that is looped over animation, the channel has a surprisingly active live chat that has become a space for heartfelt confession.

Kind Words expands on the spirit of the YouTube stream by allowing players to write a letter about something worrying them and read responses from an anonymous community. While it may be tempting to dismiss this game because of its simplicity, the exchange of messages may have an important role to play. In How Games Move Us, Katherine Isbister relates this type of communication to a note left by a parent in a child’s lunchbox – a small but heartfelt attempt to reach out.

2. Going Under

According to the game designer Dan Cook, humour in games is difficult due to the conflicting nature of video games and comedy. While comedy comes from unexpected violations of the expected, video games rely on the predictable to be playable.

Broadly speaking, even excellent comedic writing is doomed when placed within the context of a video game because the required repetition of a game means that players will come to expect what was once the unexpected. However, comedy and punk-culture scholar Krista Bonello contends that comedy in games can be successful when it comes from exploiting the player’s experience of (and nostalgia for) previous games.

In that vein, the game Going Under succeeds by twisting the familiar setting of the action-adventure into the world of crumbling startups. Instead of searching for buried treasure in mystical ruins, players must instead explore the remnants of failed tech companies and strip the buildings of assets. Perhaps most comically of all, we are expected to do this for free, because we’re only interns.

3. Fortnite

When life is as dark as it is right now, it’s important to remember the importance of “fun”. Johan Huizinga, a Dutch historian and cultural theorist, first wrote about the idea of fun in 1938, saying:

The fun of playing resists all analysis, all logical interpretation. As a concept, it cannot be reduced to any other mental category.

Huizinga argued that fun was something beyond rational capacities, something universal to humans and other animals alike. This was not to discount fun as irrelevant but to establish its importance among our emotional capacities.

As such, there’s never been a better time to log in to Epic Games’ Fortnite. Although a competitive shooting game at heart, Fortnite distances itself from similar games through its cartoon-like aesthetic that can be felt in its gameplay as well as its visual design. The game welcomes up to 100 players to indulge in the childlike play of building box forts and throwing snowballs together, all while dressed as a pink llama. The game’s devotion to fun has amassed over 250 million players so far.

4. Euro Truck Simulator

Finally, I’d like to suggest to anyone who just needs to relax – or to embrace, as we call it in game theory, abnegation. Popularised by the paper Mechanics, Dynamics, Aesthetics, abnegation is generally thought of as a synonym for that feeling of “zoning out” we can experience when playing games.

Euro Truck Simulator, an almost entirely pointless game, asks players to engage in the long, thankless job of driving a shipping truck through simulations of mainland Europe. In providing players with a straightforward goal and some simple but hard to master controls, some players can find themselves sucked into the game for hours at a time.

About Today's Contributor:

Conor Mckeown, , King's College London

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. 

4 Strategies for Embracing Obstacles

4 Strategies for Embracing Obstacles

If you’re facing some life challenges, it can be hard to remember that it’s normal to have obstacles crop up from time to time. Everyone has setbacks, disappointments, and tough times. But going through a rough patch doesn’t have to spoil your life. The key to thriving in the face of adversity is how you respond to the obstacles in your path.

Here are four strategies to help you ride through and come out on top.

Decide to embrace the obstacle

If you’re having a tough time, it can be easy to feel helpless, even that you’re a victim. But it’s up to you to rise to the challenge and decide that you won’t be overwhelmed. Choosing to take control and embrace your challenge is the first step in overcoming it. Look your obstacle square in the face and resolve to meet it.

Be okay with discomfort

The proof that you’re embracing your obstacle is acknowledging that it doesn’t feel good. It can feel uncomfortable, heavy, even painful. There are lots of life experiences that hurt at the time but end up being for your best and highest good. From marathon training to going to the dentist to public speaking, even facing your debtors, you feel so much better once you’ve faced the worst. Remember it won’t last forever. Don’t shrink from the bad feelings. You can ride them out!

4 Strategies for Embracing Obstacles

Make sure you have a support team

You don’t have to face your obstacles alone. It can make all the difference to have people around you who are supportive, who’ll stick by you and cheer you on when you want to give up.

If you have a cheer squad, you’ll find that extra level of energy to help get you through. And you’ll be there for your friends and colleagues when they’re facing their challenges. Once you’re part of a team who have each other’s backs, none of you will have to face life’s ups and downs alone. You’ll fight together and celebrate success together.

Be grateful for your obstacles

Feeling gratitude for the challenges in life might sound counter-intuitive. But think about it. Accepting the challenge, resolving to meet it head-on, and overcoming it makes you a better, stronger person. Think of how good it feels to deal with a problem and solve it. To face fear and overcome it.

Without obstacles in your life, you would not grow and learn and become a better person. Obstacles are a natural, normal part of living an authentic life.

4 Strategies for Embracing Obstacles

Four Ways To Cope When The Going Gets Tough

Woman holding her head (image via pexels.com)

No life is without its challenges, and it would be unrealistic to expect completely smooth sailing all of the time. That's why developing healthy coping mechanisms is so important for everyone - and especially if you have kids to teach those skills to as well. Managing well and having appropriate outlets for stress ans being able to stay calm will serve you well no matter the depths of the situation you encounter. Whether it's going through a personal situation like a divorce or facing redundancy, processing past trauma, or simply not letting the smaller day-to-day incidents build up, learning some tips and techniques can serve you well.

Source Professional Support

Gaining the right support is definitely the first step towards bouncing back from a difficult situation. Informal support from your network of family and friends is invaluable, but it can't replace the appropriate professional help when you're really struggling. Whether it's making contact with an addiction specialist to begin a process of recovery or finding lawyers that specialise in boy scout abuse to begin a journey out of trauma, getting the right help counts for so much. It can be extremely hard to open up, but once you take that step, you're on the road to healing.

Consider Journalling It Out

The process of journalling can be a very helpful way for some people to work through their emotions. Sometimes it's easier to process events and work out feelings in writing, as it gives a critical distance from events. Over the years, people have found keeping a diary to be an extremely helpful process. Don't get too hung up on what to write - go for a stream of consciousness approach and just see what comes up. Journals can also provide a really useful marker in a recovery process of exactly how far you've come.

Show Yourself Some Love

So many people still see self care as somehow selfish, when actually it's indispensable, especially when you have been through a low period or a traumatic event. Often we put additional stress on ourselves by feeling that we have to be seen to be coping just fine without any help. If you've always found that booking a massage, taking a deep bath or using a mindfulness app helps you to feel more grounded, then ramp up that practice and make it a part of your daily routine. What's good for the soul is good for your recovery.

Make Exercise A Part Of Your Life

Getting out into the fresh air and recovering is one of the best things that you can do to help yourself. Exercise releases feel-good hormones called endorphins into your system which can give you a vital boost during tough times. Not to mention all the other positive effects cardiovascular exercise has, from increasing mental focus and problem-solving abilities, to helping to reset your circadian rhythms and get you better quality sleep. So finding a favourite home yoga routine or fitting in a quick run can make a huge difference. Taking small positive steps each day can speed your recovery and give you something to focus on.

Tips To Create More Calm In Your Life

Person on a bridge near a lake (Photo by Simon Migaj from Pexels)

Finding calm in your life is important because having that zen in your life can be really helpful to your health both in mind and body. Wherever you go or whatever you do in life, it’s important to look for that calm in places where it might get a little crazy. Here are some tips for creating more calm in your life.

Don’t Rush, Slow Down

When it comes to life, try to take it slowly. Don’t feel like you need to rush your life because of what you see on social media or comparing yourself to others. We all operate differently, and our life experiences will vary to each other, so stop comparing yourself and stop rushing. Take time to enjoy the moments in life that are truly magical. Remember that you only get the one life, so be sure to live it to the full and to relish all the times where you can be at peace with yourself. Those opportunities don’t always come along so often, so when they do, make the most of them. When you feel yourself rushing, make a conscious effort to slow down, and to not panic so much about having to do everything and anything.

Have A Morning Ritual

A morning ritual is a great way to start off the day in the right way. Not only that, but it brings that calmness that you need right away when you’ve just got out of bed. It’s important to be aware of how your body is feeling and what you’re thinking. By setting yourself up with a morning routine, you can focus on getting yourself in the right state of mind and mood for the day. It might be taking a warm shower every morning, or a cold one depending on your preference. You may wish to do some light exercise or perhaps go out for a jog to get some fresh air. Find what suits you and make it something that you enjoy. Prem Rawat talks about finding inner peace, and this is a good way to do so.

Be Grateful

It’s important to be grateful for the things you get given in your life because not everyone gets the same opportunities as you might get. So try to find that gratefulness in everything you get given throughout your life, no matter how small or big it may be. It’s important to do this so that you remain grounded. So whatever happens to you in life, it helps you come back to reality and to appreciate everything you have in life. That also brings about that calm feeling that you’re after.

Find A Career That’s Enjoyable

Being able to have a successful career that’s enjoyable can be difficult sometimes. Everyone goes through life doing things they don’t enjoy, but it’s important you find a job that you love and find happiness in. Otherwise, different parts of your life outside of work will be affected.

Use these tips in order to bring more calm in your life.

Why Spicing Up Your Relationship Is Key

Why Spicing Up Your Relationship Is Key (image via Pixabay)

Finding love for the first time or the second or third, is a difficult task. A wonderful feeling but a scary one also where we feel sucked into a whirlwind of emotions and unsure how we feel about our path and if we are making the right decisions. If you have experienced a breakup recently or in the past, you can be sure that things can get easy again for you and once you do find love again, you can find exciting ways to spice up your relationship!

“But I have been divorced and now I don’t think I can give myself to another person again completely?”

It may be difficult to find love again, especially after divorce and you have probably dealt with divorce solicitors and the paperwork that comes along with it but it doesn't mean that life has to end once this is completed. Start to embrace the relationship again and spice it up!

Hug and kiss more!

Physical contact is key and even something as simple as a 30-second hug is one of the warmest things you can do which extends a regular hug that and releases endorphins and allows you to appreciate the love that you have together. The attachment hormone will trigger and both men and women enjoy a human touch; it’s a natural thing to do. Indulge in a longer embrace every day and learn how much more passionate and happy you feel together as well as feeling more grateful for each other’s company. 

Start to say nice things to each other!

As women, we can have a negative outlook on relationships and be less trustworthy and a little more judging. Compliment instead! Start looking at what you like and love about your partner and every day start to commit to noticing five good things about your partner and why you like what they do! Tell them the five good things also, let them feel good about themselves and ensure that they are feeling happy in the relationship as well. It could be how they look, what they say to you, how well they cook, or something nice that they did for you. 

Ask the right questions

Sometimes after we’ve been in a relationship for a long time, we think we know everything about our partners but that isn’t always the case and sometimes we can assume things that aren't fair. They may have secrets, or issues they don't want to share and therefore it’s vital to be good at communicating and being sensitive with what you ask and how you ask it. 

Go on date night that’s a little out of the norm for you!

Have a date night, but do something a little different and change it up. Go to a new place or a new activity! Doing something new is always fun and try and plan it in advance. Think about where you’d like to go and make little bucket lists.Think about where you’d like to go to and what activities float your boat, it will bring new memories!