12 January 2013

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Valentine's Day: Trying to Rationalise the Irrational

Valentine's Day is a construct invented by Western society designed to lift morale and instil a false sense of romance into the minds of the brainwashed masses.

Heart Of The Storm

After the joyful Christmas period many of us find ourselves facing the eternal darkness of January with nothing to look forward to. On top of this darkness you may also have tried to convince yourself of your own powers of self will by sticking to your New Year’s resolution and giving up smoking, drinking or chocolate.

Firstly, you may wish to follow this sound advice – there is no point in giving anything up in January because it is the most depressing month of the year so there’s no need to depress yourself further by denying yourself some simple pleasures. If anything, you should actually drink, smoke and eat more during January to counter the dark gloom that descends upon our fair nation.

Secondly, once you’ve got January out of the way you are then faced with the similarly depressing prospect of February. February only has one real advantage – it’s 28 days long, although sometimes we have to endure another day of it because every once in a while February decides that it’s going to last for 29 days; such a tease of a month.


February: An Arrow to the Heart
Some people may try and convince you that February is actually alright as far as months often go, usually by using a phrase like this: ‘Oooooo, its Valentine’s Day in February.’ Do not listen to these people. Valentine’s Day is a construct invented by Western society designed to lift morale and instil a false sense of romance into the minds of the brainwashed masses.

Valentine’s Day actually makes February worse because if you happen to have a girlfriend then you will be required by emotional law to get hold of some Valentine’s Day gifts for her – a mere seven weeks after you bought her some Christmas presents.

Thankfully, the fair ladies of this land do not expect you to spend much on them on Valentine’s Day and many will be happy with a fluffy pillow shaped like a heart, a single red rose or something equally representative of romance.

Many women, even some of the heavily moustachioed feminists out there, will often say that they are not really that bothered about Valentine’s Day. However beware, this is a lie. There is not a woman on this earth who would not be grateful for a red rose and some chocolates on Valentine’s Day. In fact, there is not a woman on this earth who would not be grateful for a red rose and some chocolate on any day of the year.

Heck, there aren’t even that many men that wouldn’t be grateful for a red rose and some chocolate on any day of the year.

Valentine’s Day: An Accepting Heart
This is the best way to look at Valentine’s Day – accept it from a rational perspective. Valentine’s Day essentially enables you to not have to buy any other romantic gifts for her over the course of the rest of the year because you’ve already done it by mid-February. This is the only positive spin that any rational minded individual will be able to elicit from Valentine’s Day.

If you are one of the more highly aware individuals that exist in this society of ours then you will no doubt realise that romance cannot be condensed into a single day and that it instead involves a continual practice of worship and consideration with regard to that special someone. That sentiment aside, society will still frown upon you if you fail to gift your girlfriend some form of present on Valentine’s Day and so, ultimately, it’s just a lot easier to buy some Valentine’s Day gifts for her. But what to buy?

Acceptable Valentine’s Day Gifts for Her
Chocolates and a red rose are fine gifts, there’s no doubt about that. But you may want to think outside the chocolate box and get her something a bit more original. Something a bit more individualistic and personal, perhaps even get her something with her name on it. Like a tattoo. Why not get her name tattooed on to your forehead so as to prove your undying love for her? Or, alternatively, you could simply get a pillow case or a gift set with her name on it. You can get those things these days too, thanks to the niche markets that a lot of web companies cater to.

About Today's Guest writer:

Sam Mulder is a hopeless romantic who has fallen in love with over 300 different women - often at first sight. As such, if you have a ‘Her’ in your life then he is very well placed to offer you advice about buying Valentine’s Day gifts for her.



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